Confessions of a Nation: Germany
by raecat
Summary: Ludwig's turn to share 50 secrets that define him historically and personally. What lies under the stoic German mask? Mix of head-canon explanations and historical facts. Notations at the end. Possible Germancest.


Summary: Ludwig's turn to share 50 secrets that define him historically and personally. What lies under the stoic German mask? Mix of head-canon explanations and historical facts. Notations at the end.

Warning: Bit depressive. Mentions of WW2. Mentions of possible Germancest, should you choose to interpret that way.

Disclaimer: I own no countries, nor their personifications (except for those listed as Ludwig's brothers). All people mentioned are real people, except for the nations.

**Confessions of a Nation**

**Federal Republic of Germany**

1 - I have been surrounded by chaos since my birth. Without my brothers around, I make up for it in other ways. Gilbert, Italien, the many dogs, even America, seem to know I cannot be on my own for too long.

2 - This does not mean I want to become one with Russia.

3 - I am not, nor was I ever, the Holy Roman Empire. No matter how much Italien wants me to be.

4 - I don't think Gilbert knows, but I met the Holy Roman Empire once. Honestly, I don't know what Italien sees in him.

5 - There are very few Nations that I am actually frightened of. Hungary is one. Canada is another.

6 - But not Russia; I am only wary of him.

7 - I am also frightened of Gilbert, but I don't want him to know. I think it would upset him.

8 - Before Gilbert found me, I spent time under the rule of Holy Roman Empire. Before that, Germania himself raised my siblings and me.

9 - I enjoy yelling at people in German.

10 - I also enjoy baking cakes. They are quite delicious if I do say so myself.

11 - Roderich taught me to play the cello. I enjoy being able to create beautiful music.

12 - Working on cars helps me relax.

13 - I kind of wanted World War 2. The outcome of the first war was completely unfair.

14 - I still cant believe they told me I wasn't allowed to marry Roderich.

15 - I actually liked Hitler. Before he went crazy, he had some very good ideas to help my country and my people.

16 - Actually, I think that is why my people and I were dragged in over our heads. We, I, trusted him, and he took us all to hell with him.

17 - Gilbert was right not to trust him. And as much as I know I don't deserve his forgiveness for everything that happened, I am so lucky that he forgives me anyway.

18 - It actually creeps me out that I happen to fit Hitler's Aryan "master race".

19 - Especially considering the actual Aryan people were from the Middle East.

20 - Abolishing the Free State of Prussia was not my idea, nor did I support it. Hitler made me deliver the news to Gilbert, in what he called a "show of good faith." I call it being a bastard.

21 - Actually, I never supported demoting the Kingdom of Prussia to the Free State of Prussia either.

22 - Killing my boss may have been the best thing I have ever done.

23 - I cannot set foot in any of the camps without thinking of everything Gilbert and our own people suffered through at my hands.

24 - Reuniting with Gilbert after 40 years apart was the happiest moment in my life.

25 - I am sure it means the same for him.

26 - It took a while, but I can finally look at Gilbert without flinching. That doesn't mean I feel any less guilty for the scars I put there.

27 - I don't think Gilbert realizes how much I need him. He is everything to me. I know that I don't deserve him.

28 - The sick, twisted part of me is glad that he is so dependant on me. I can't stand even the thought of loosing him again.

29 - I hate myself for thinking that.

30 - I know that Gilbert survives as the echos of the Teutonic Order and the Holocaust, and he should be with Russia as the Kaliningrad Oblast. But I will get that land back and form a New Prussia just for him.

31 - Contrary to what we tell the others, Gilbert and I do not share Germany. But I refused to just let him exist in a semi-state, and have given him half my heart.

32 - I enjoy knowing our hearts beat as one.

33 - I also know that he became East Germany to save me from splitting in two.

34 - Contrary to what America seems to believe, Gilbert has not become a vampire that feeds on me to stay alive.

35 - Nor am I some kind of puppet that he is actually controlling.

36 - Sometimes I enjoy gathering my old Axis allies together during a Summit meeting,even if we just talk about the weather. It makes the others nervous.

37 - Dealing with my old Axis allies is quite tiring. Being around Italien for more than 5 minutes is absolutely exhausting.

38 - The fact that everyone seems to think I am about to declare another war every time I open my mouth is both flattering and annoying.

39 - I would like all my stolen German scientists and technology back. As well as the ability to actually use them.

40 - My fairy-tales are much better than America's.

41 - I hate pasta.

42 - Sometimes I want to smack both Italies around, just to shut them up.

43 - Romano really needs to just get over himself.

44 - Sometimes I feel really bad for my neighbors, but I have to remind myself that it is not all my fault.

45 - Despite what people, such as France, like to tell me.

46 - During the war, I had Friedrich II's coffin removed and secretly hidden. Following the war, I kept it safe until Gilbert could return.

47 - I asked England to hold a seance, so I could apologize for everything. The man, even in spirit, is wonderful and I can see why Gilbert loves him so.

48 - His devotion to his dead lover and leader makes me jealous on so many different levels.

49 - In the years following the war, I took in many dogs. In an effort to punish myself and contemplate mortality, I refused to let them become immortal Nation's pets like the others. It was only when Gilbert returned to me that this changed.

50 - Despite my history, I would not change anything. If I did, I might loose more than I would gain.

**Notations & Explanations**

Like the others, these are a mix of head-canon, actual canon, and historical facts. Feel free to message me with questions or comments regarding any of these.

Note 1: Use of names. Unlike the others, Ludwig refers to everyone by their Nation name, as a sign of respect. The exceptions are Gilbert and Roderich, who are family. Also, Italien is German for Italy. I see it as Ludwig's nickname of sorts for Italy.

Note 2: You will see mentions of 'brothers' a few times. My head-canon, based on the history of Germany, has -tans for each German tribe/kingdom. They are Ludwig's brothers and now live scattered within their respective states. They are Baden, Bavaria, Hanover, Hesse (who are actually twin girls), Holstein, Saxony, Schleswig, and Wurttemburg. Prussia (and Brandenburg) are a separate family entity.

Note 3: There are many mentions of Hitler in this. I want to make sure it is clear that I am not a fan, nor some form of Neo-Nazi. Hitler is important to the history of Germany and impacts heavily on Ludwig.

3 - Germany is not HRE. The German tribes were eventually a part of the HRE. In my head-canon, HRE (son of Germania) failed at uniting the lands and creating a new lasting empire, so Germania had Ludwig. Ludwig's purpose was to unite the German tribes, which he has (mostly) succeeded at.

5 - I will only explain Canada. During both WW1 and WW2, Canadian forces acted as shock-troops for England and absolutely kicked ass against Germany. Unlike most other nations, Ludwig has seen the raw power in Matthew and is right to fear him.

10 - I am pretty sure this is canon.

11 - I also think this is canon, but it could be fanon. Either way, I like it.

13 - Following WW1, Germany was blamed for starting the war, when in truth it was actually Austria. Germany really got the shaft here and it is the direct cause of WW2.

14 - One of the stipulations was that Germany was not allowed to 'create a union with Austria.' Ludwig mentions it because he thinks it is stupid. When Hitler ignored this rule and incorporated Austria into Greater Germany, the Allies pretty much ignored it.

15 - This is true. Hitler actually had many great ideas and was a huge asset to bringing Germany back to it's feet. Then he went crazy. Did you know he essentially invented the Volkswagon Beetle to be manufactured at a low cost and therefore be affordable to all Germans?

17 - Historically, Prussia was against Hitler, against the Nazi regime, and against the war.

18 & 19 - Geographically true, the actual Aryan race is the group of people the settled what is now Iran. As with other things, Hitler twisted its meaning and reinvented Aryan's as a race of Nordic-like peoples descended from Angel's/mystical beings. Like Ludwig, they were blond and blue-eyed, something Hitler ironically was not.

22 - Read my fic _These Walls as my Witness _for more.

30 - Head-canon and historical facts collide. Kaliningrad Oblast is a territory belonging to Russia that used to belong to Prussia. The area included Koenigsburg, which was the capital of Prussia, and is separated from Russia by Poland and Lithuania. Following WW2, Russia took over and renamed the area. Following the reunification of Germany, the government and various groups have been attempting to get the land back from Russia. So far, Russia isn't interested.

34 & 35 - America being silly. I blame Japan's horror movies.

40 - Brothers Grimm vs Disney.

42 - Although Ludwig is one of the few with enough patience for Italy, I think he gets very tired of both of them, very quickly.

45 - Following both WW1 and WW2 and leading up to the fall of the Berlin Wall and reunification of Germany, France has always been quick to remind everyone how horrible Germany is.

46 - True story. During WW2, the coffins of both Friedrich II and Friedrich Wilhelm I were transferred first to an underground bunker and later to a mineshaft close to the town of Bernrode to protect them from destruction. In 1945 the US Army transported both kings first to the Elisabeth Church of Marburg and then on to Burg Hohenzollern close to the town of Hechingen. After the reunification, both were reburied in Sanssouci.

47 - Head-canon tells me that Ludwig would use Arthur's magik to commune with Old Fritz's ghost and apologize. He had a lot to be sorry for. Prussia was abolished, Gilbert suffered in the camps and now with Ivan, and Fritz's good name was turned into propaganda by Hitler. Which is ironic, because it is Fritz who invited Jews into the German areas in the first place (or at least in massive groups).

48 - The jealousy can be interpreted many ways. Jealously that Gilbert had such a great leader. Jealously that his own leaders suck so much. Jealously of not meeting him in person. Jealously of their love. Etc.

49 - Canonically, Ludwig has 3 dogs. Head-canon says that throughout the 40 years following the war, he took in strays and cared for them until they lived out their mortal lives. In a way, Ludwig is punishing himself by having pets that will die. Once Gilbert returns and Ludwig can begin to forgive himself, his 3 dogs become as immortal as all other Nation pets seem to be.

Final Note: Ludwig has a huge guilt complex.


End file.
